This TED talk by Ellen Gustafson on Obesity and Hunger is a great presentation.  She mixes humour in with a very bleak subject, and is passionate about what she believes in.  She has publicly stated her opinion, which I feel is of concern to the 80’s kids generation, of which I can relate.  The idea that our generation is all about the NOW, that most of our notions of being future oriented is to focus on making money — because it worked for our parents, and that to change the world would take a binding and shift of the me to we perspective.  There seems to be a cultural shift in how we approach global epidemics like these issues now because we need to shift our instant gratification modes of problem solving into sustainable and creative solutions in which most of us are not traditionally trained to do or think on this level.  That seeing the bigger picture makes most of us utterly depressed and inhibited by fear, and we deal by not dealing, by shopping and consuming more or choosing to be ignorant by ignoring the issues which is the most privileged of  privileged place to be as an educated young individual.  Though, we still think to ourselves everyday, at the end of it all, what do I WANT? and how will I survive?!  Given that the question “what do I NEED to do to get there” comes as an after thought.

This pretty much sums up my current feelings after having some time to absorb, gauge the reactions of, and converse with my fellow peers, friends, and colleagues about our year spent learning about the current food systems in place and the ridiculous policies lobbied and supported by profiting producers and benefactors of the now broken economics of national and world agriculture.  Food studies, has been a ride and a half, even in trying to explain to people what is it that i exactly ‘do’ everyday.  And the subsequent TED talk comment section bellow the video link pretty much illustrates why it’s been so frustrating at that.  People will always have differing opinions on implementing change and what would affect other people the most (yet themselves the least) as long as the situation is out of their circumstance, and out of their control.  I find it’s always difficult to deal with these world issues at large with a ‘me/you vs them’ attitude.  I guess it always melts down to the core value that is being challenged here — how does one begin to fight for equality and social justice in a capital power world designed to hold everyone in their place?  One can’t ever help but wonder “How do I fit into this picture”, and “Where do we even begin”?  How do we focus on one small thing that can be changed on a daily basis and apply that to the masses?  Does that even work when everyone’s lifestyles and perceptions of the world are different by and large?  Isn’t this where nutritional information dealing with diet, health, and lifestyle have always been challenged by authorities and health industries by taking test subjects not proven but correlated to affect something that is really unknown, inspiring drug makers to produce and sell to the masses as a solution? Embedded within industries and systems to organize and treat people are cultural points of views enforced by those in power.  So, who wants to tackle being in charge or more than themselves?

This is what I imagine world leaders asking when they get together to meet and greet and converse.  I guess that’s what I expect national leaders to do, though sometimes it seems like they are more stuck tunnel vision and short term yet expensive ‘quick’ fixes to keep everybody ‘happy’… at least for now…

Globalizing (i use term as a verb here) national issues seem to increase our notions of the ‘one nation/one world’ point of view, which to me seems quite limited.  (Maybe it’s the labeling that I’m not comfortable with – perhaps it should be ‘one humanity, a million cultural solutions’ haaa!)  Such a ‘one nation’ point of view seems to go by a ‘one leader’ policy, in which none of the most ‘powerful’ or ‘rich’ nation’s leaders can handle all on their own, nor do they want to?  Such a notion manipulates the bigger picture as if humans actually have much control over mother nature as one nation state, and seemingly fits the idea of a dying earth that we have crushed into one hand.  When really, it’s the evolutionary theory of humans killing other humans that is the problem and solution here.  Such a global point of view are embedded in first world nations’ economic perceptions of trade, agriculture, and food – why I ask?  How do we even begin to look at change if we use the same system of organization to devalue the voice of nations that are poorer, instead of looking at their cultural values and how their ancient civilizations have survived and procreated over the centuries.  Hence opinions that erk me like “let’s increase funding for technology to manipulate natural seeds and plants, gmo technology, and enclosed ecosystems in order to feed the third world” seem to be masked in wonderful intentions to help others, though who takes responsibility when it doesn’t work?  When a big company patents and sells their new bio-technologies to poor farmers on the other side of the world implying that they can’t help themselves, how is this devaluing system solving any problems when they can no longer take control over their own sustenance and way of life?  – Again, why? to make a buck? Why do people feel the urge to feed our human need to help other people so we can feel better about ourselves in the end?    Is it a sense of survival pointing at the other who suffers and saying to yourself  “HAHA! I am doing better than him in life!”?  Blaming “human nature” for our ugly truths don’t mean anything.  The mind can be conditioned to overcome adversity given the right conditions and nurturing, and the body as much as we push it, if not taken care of, will die.  Is this just how it works?  How do you even begin organizing a million of these varying bodies and minds in a community, nation state,, and then the world?!  Are we getting ahead of ourselves blinded by the flashiness of power?

Like puzzle pieces floating in space out of place on a flat table that is unknowingly round, issues of  consumption and waste, hunger and obesity, health and living wages, along with private and public enterprises versus sustainable greener economics, creative, innovative, and technological well-being…etc. I can only imagine, anyone would ask “which piece do you grab and focus on first”? hmmm, future world leaders? youth of our nations?

You can tell Ellen is really excited and passionate about this issue, and is exactly the type of personality that would make a great big picture leader.  Makes me wonder how she would conduct meetings amongst these great organizations, and how they would be able to work together to combine mission statements.  Go Ellen go!

I on the other hand have discovered that I am more of a ‘create small change daily, and stick to them’ kind of person.  I realize that change happens everyday, in an instant.  But the greater challenge as I am a product of my generation, is committing to long term change through every day action.  I am a situation handler, a problem solver on spot, an organizer, an event executioner.  Always have been.  I love the multiple sense of accomplishments throughout my day, even as simple as feeding myself a hearty yummy meal that I have cooked out of love for myself and for others when I share.  I have no huge ten year goals to ‘change the world’ or to ‘feed’ everybody, but I have goals to change my own path, and to find food security for myself and my family.  I need to love who I am first, love what I do, and take care of my family first.  I know I am accountable for that much in life.  In turn, I hope to inspire others to do the same kind of small but impactful things that bring enjoyment into their lives, every day too.  But that is never up to me.  I just share what I love with you.  Simple.

xoxo J xoxo

shout out to BHT, thanks for being my biggest jloeats supporter ;) woot woot! <3

first off — HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. thank you writer Shah, for pointing out how ridiculous food propaganda can be. Mixing politics with food is like trying to open a fresh 5lb paper bag of flour and having it explode – everywhere. Poof!

Though, it says a lot when such food companies are so terrified of losing sales that any negative association to current events is perceived to be too real to consume. It’s called marketing. i wonder what would happen if all the “chicken of the sea” cans turn into “oil of the sea” cans now, if there are even any fish left. or maybe they should just call it mint chocolate depression. HAHA, awww. too real, too real, bring it back.

My theater days had taught me that comedy is a way of observing the world and pointing out the ridiculous truths that everybody else thinks but doesn’t want to be martyred for saying out loud. And when you can point fingers at something or someone who is brave enough to put themselves out there as an example of the situation to laugh at it out loud, then we’re accepting it as nonsense as a cultural whole.

This article represents how I really feel about everything I’ve learned thus far about the American food systems and politics in general.  Though important to point out significant historical events that are swept under the rug in order to learn from them through a cultural lens, it is also important to laugh at all the ridiculous forces that influence the way food products are marketed and sold to a overly excessive consumer market, in a way that places the blame on someone or something put out there for all to see.  By bringing it up in discussion, I only hope to stir up enough attention to find relatable feelings about everyone’s current food situation, and I package my thoughts with academia in order to claim credibility.  Thank goodness for push button publishing. ;)

So this is all good.  I was finally able to laugh at myself last night about how heart breaking it feels to get my foodie perceptions of the world shattered to a million pieces in the last two semesters of my food studies (I use this word ‘foodie’ very carefully).   It takes a lot of strength to get up everyday and go to class to learn about everything that is wrong with our food systems and subsequently how it is destroying our perceptions of the world, and what it would take change it all, consumer’s choice of course.  We would have to scrap everything and start from scratch basically, returning to old school methods of how to organize ourselves as a species.  Yet, there is no such thing as “the good ole days” other than the time period of their lives when people refer to when they were most ignorant about the realities of their own world.   Which stirs up great unrest because I am a problem solver, a situation handler, and a perpetual thinker.  Yet who am I to change politics and the way of the world or to solve hunger?  Those are not my life goals, and never have been.  I live to eat and to share my joy of food with people.  I live to inspire others about gaining access to better than what they already have.  (This mentality is a product of my generation ;) – eighties kids always shop for better because they’ve only seen the world get worse and worse in terms of politics within their own lifetime, and those who thrive are the ones who don’t settle for anything less than their present situation)  But I also love to learn and teach. I am addicted to learning and self discovery in a way that teaches me to thrive.  Thriving to me means more than just survival, for me it means fighting for a quality of life. It’s also tough being resourceful when you are constantly told that there are no resources left where you study and where words like that either inspire creativity or stunt it.  Hence I look elsewhere because I am not bound by birthright to the country in which I study, and now I see that as the greatest blessing in disguise.   Perhaps this is what perpetuates my nonsensical feelings of not belonging to any one place.  My life is split between three places, and two countries. My heart is where the love is, and the love is where the food is.

Claiming my ‘foodie’ identity became a journey where I was enraptured by the idea of discovering where my food comes from; ignited by my culinary life while working in the kitchen. That became my point of access. As a restaurant worker the only time you get to try haute cuisine is if you go into a kitchen, prove that you’re worthy by working for free and keeping up with the pace, and maybe you’ll get to sneak a few bites in here or there.  You’re expected to be an expert at food because those who have access to buying the ‘best’ out there with capital power in such a private society actually knows more than you about good food. but because you live and work around food all day and see the ugly realities of its carbon based nature, through food safety measures, the glamour of it all is claiming your access to good food like a badge of honour; that you’ve ‘made it’ in the darwinian sense of survival. that you will always be around food and make it your life to survive off of it. that you are better off than those struggling to scrounge up for a meal daily. I may have just found my thesis. :)

Home is where the food is, and is where my brain has space and the freedom to breathe.

Thank you for the soulfood.

xoxo J xoxo

I apologize for my lack of May posts.  May has been a really hard month.  It’s been tough since spring break because I’ve been feeling really burnt out, and I hold it all in, because I don’t like being the debbie downer, holding bad news all the time about what not to eat anymore, or how we’re all going to die because mother nature is going to wipe us all out. I’ve been complaining a lot about the systemic problems in our lives, and have been feeling really conflicted because I always have the privileged option of opting out, and giving up on this fight simply by moving home post grad.  So I’ve been hesitant to write, because I was scared.

My friend described my blog to another avid food lover as a space where “she whines about the current food issues” that we all face everyday.  And I was taken aback by that description (even though any feedback is good) I don’t want to sound like a baby or act like one and just whine and cry all the time.  When I was being trained as an artist, I was taught to create a safe space in order to own the space.  To identify all the rules, and break them all.  I am rebellious by nature, and when the going gets tough, I am a pro at deflecting attention from myself to others and criticize what everyone else is doing wrong. So needless to say, I was very upset to learn about all the hard stuff about money, and economics, and science, wrapped up in empty promises, lies, and cut throat survival techniques from people who have built up their own systems in order to challenge the current one.  So it was easy for me to turn this space into one were I was able to emotionally indulge in it and whine about all that was wrong with the food system, when it became too hard to find the opportunities for change, and stay strong mentally in order to fight off all the negative forces that just make me want to give up.  Life’s hard and I was angry that the one comfort I had always had through eating and consuming, was slowing consuming me and jading the way I viewed the world.  My relationship with food was changing at a rate that I was no comfortable with, and I got scared.  I ran, I tried to ignore, and I tried to escape, only to realize how small I was playing, and how much weaker I actually felt.  I don’t want to run anymore.  It is what it is.  And what I walk away from this year is this:  people will always be hungry, and therefore people will always fight for their survival and do what it takes, even if it means taking care of yourself first and foremost.  It is in our nature.  If and when it’s time for me to become a mom, this will all change again, by I cannot get there until I finish this step first.

And although I may feel completely consumed by it all most of the time, I cannot lose hope.  Because once I stop believing in myself, it’s over.  They’ve won.  I can’t let that happen.  That is not finishing what I started, when I chose this journey and that is just playing small to let them win.  And I am competitive by nature, I hate to lose.

I just need to change my relationship with myself, and not let my thoughts consume me. It’s time to survive.  It’s time to bring my A game.  again and again and again.

I am hungry. Hear me roar!

No one else I know has such a sweet tooth as he, other than myself as a teenager when I lived off of sugar, fat, and processed microwavable junk too. Ironically, he’s a dentist, and his ultimate indulgence is sugar.  MmmHmmm, just like my sinful doctor friends who smoke like chimneys, and my chef friends who live off of beer, hard liquor, and mcdees.  Which begs me to question, why are we so drawn to the things that we know are bad for us, and why does it feel so good to not practice what we preach sometimes?

(Ok Ok I admit, my shinning moment this semester was going straight to Takahachi, my favourite sushi digs in Manhattan, and inhaling a bowl of toro over what I call the best vinegared sushi rice in town – after I had sworn off eating endangered tuna for a month during my markets research paper. YUP. “Hell TASTES SO GOOOOOD” and crying for three days straight over the current Oil Spill Crisis and while watching “The Cove”.)

Don’t get me wrong, not all sugar is bad, and I LOVE SUGAR.  I just have a growing repulsion to neon food, which reminds me of three teenage girls on the bus the other day all sucking on fist sized jawbreakers covered in a radioactive rainbow of powdered sugar.  Their mouths were glowing blue when they snickered at each other that made me want to gag.  Foods nowadays are wayyy too sweet that tries so hard to overcompensate for the lack of fat that should be present, in flavour and in nutrients. Like yogurt on the market these days.  What’s up with all the fat free low fat crap? Why would I want to eat fat free milk fat? may as well call it sugar paste, and may as well tap that syrup straight into my veins with an iv.  May as well.

At a recent Food Studies Lunch Reception, A and I were like teenagers on crack when we tried the new Truvia non sugar sweetener ‘made from’ or extracted from the stevia plant known to be 1000x sweeter than sugah.  It was indeed.  We were both surprised at how little we added to our super sour cranberry cocktails in order to kick it into high gear.

So I can’t help but ask also:

IS CANDY REALLY A FOOD?

If we start defining what candy is, can we start by defining what food is?  HAHAHA…Perhaps because what and why we consume feels so good because it is so bad.  Maybe we all have rebellious kids inside of us who just want food to be fun again, sweet, creative, and carefree.

or maybe it’s because when we were younger, it was our first encounters of joy through consumption, of something yummy, of things that we just wanted more of…

gimme more sugahhhh!

“so what’s wrong with sugar? I LIKE SUGAR” said a colleague of mine in class one monday evening when we were discussing all the new soda taxes being put into place.  She got really defensive, like someone was trying to yank the lolipop out of her mouth.  Or the Koolaid.  My dish is this – I don’t mind the conversations about what counts as good or bad, and how candy or sugary drinks is ‘defined’, my question is, people don’t mind paying for things as long as they know where their hard earned money is going, So where and what are these new taxes going to pay for?  Money in this country speaks the loudest, and as much as I want to fight this reality, I can’t.

It’s been a tough year in grad school, learning about America’s addiction to oil and sugar.  And like any child, I have cried and screamed in protest when things I like are taken away from me, hidden away from me, placed out of reach, or even destroyed.  It just so happens that I like good food, and it’s taken me a while to retrain my palate again for survival.  So all I can say is this, my relationship with food is constantly changing, and I challenge you to question yours too.  It is too easy to stick to what we know, to what we like, and to what is comfortable.  Emotional eating is always and only an instant gratifying moment that quickly passes, and we are often left wanting more to keep satiated.  Thus, as I look forwrd to a nice relaxing summer, to recharge and actually EAT, travel, and enjoy life again, I will walk away from this first year with a new found sense of awareness, of hardcore knowledge about a system that I once did not know.  Although there have been many trying times when I just wanted to throw in the towel, and indulge in that burger that might eventually kill me, I am learning how to change for the better, in hopes to inspire others to search for theirs too.

Life is never fair and all you can really ask for is balance that hopefully makes the bitterness of reality just a tad bit sweeter every so often.  And for that, I am so greatful that I met B.  Thanks for reminding me constantly that Love is strong enough to be all the GOOD in my life that gives me an escape from all the bad out there.  You are just like candy…

This pretty much sums up what I’ve been working on, thinking about, and engulfing my head on in the past few weeks – well, that and fattie bluefin TUNA and its depleting sources in the Atlantic – more on that later…

Props to the makers of the twenty min easy to digest and understand videos on the way we consume and how it’s going to kill us all if we don’t make some changes soon.

I always say, mother nature has the power to wipe us all out if we piss her off enough, and I think it’s time to stop doing just that.  We’ve been poking the dragon with money and hiding behind the big clouds of carbon smoke for a while now, and all we’ve proven is that we can’t fool anyone, even ourselves. One can only distract, insist, and entertain their own fancies for so long.  But what is going to happen later?

Sure sure, my generation is and has always been tagged as the “INSTANT GRATIFICATION” generation — but we’re learning to look forwards now culturally as hard as it is.  Question is, what about the next?  Will there be any resources left for them to even gratify on, or will they simply be walking drones that plug into a larger online world of consumption and reality further disconnecting themselves from organizing, working, living, and bonding with each other?

Were are we headed with this capitalistic consumption pattern that is soaking up every bit of resource left and spewing out garbage mountains?  Hmm, I feel like I walk through such a garbage mountain every day — it’s called Manhattan.  It smells, it rots, vermin and rodents are stronger than humans in fighting off disease, and the only good food left is bought at a high price because it’s been shipped in from somewhere that still has soil, grass, clean water, and air.  That or it’s made in a factory somewhere.

What a bleak future I’ve learned to see and want to protect my future kids if I ever have kids from.  Such is also a common thought amongst our generation because this is the first time our culture has hit rock bottom in our very own lifetime.  But it can be done! In seeking for inspiration like I know how to do best when things get tough, I look to movies — What a fabulous one this was: Earth Days in looking back at how the environmental movement was born in America, and how americans banned together to stand up to their leaders who weren’t doing a good job, to convince their leaders to economically provide incentives in order to protect the people, by banning pollution to improve the air and water quality – between the 50’s to the late 70’s.  So much work was done in that time period!

So, can we do it now?  Can we band together to make small changes together?  Can we convince others too in a way that frames the argument in a less offensive – “everything you do is wrong” kind of way?

The most interesting part about the way my generation grew up in a world where spreading capital wealth and neoliberalism from the 80’s to now was the sole reason for extracting what we thought would be an endless supply of resources and sourcing efficiency from all over the world is that the moment we became a “GLOBAL SOCIETY” – we took on all the bad stuff too.  Like a marriage, countries started to share each other’s burdens whether they could organize and get along or not, and is now trying to divorce themselves from the social justice problems that where hidden in the package.  It’s like the money blew the problem to a much bigger proportion than we would all handle together to begin with, and created a system rooted in a bad foundation based on greed and the idea of MORE is MORE.  So what now?  How does one individual or nation “find themselves” again, like post breakup when you’ve totally lost your way because you were distracted by all the shiny things that you thought loved you back?  How does one go on to influence a ripple of change that is systemic and global?

Well I guess it starts with my own habits, right? Yes!  Let’s start here. from within. and within my own community of networks and people.

So…

What if for one day, I turned off all the lights that I don’t need in order to see, for a moment, an hour, or twelve.

and turned off the tv, and my idle sleeping computer,

what if for one day, I used less water, generated less waste, and composted what can no longer be eaten,

what if I only used things that I can recycle and reuse again?  If I stopped drinking bottled water?

what if I shared my food, heat, and warmth with others,

walked, biked, carpooled or took public transit (when I’m not in NYC of course) or worked up to buying an electric car instead?

Would that be enough?

What if for one day, we all collectively with held from BUYING things, and reused or asked someone to share?  Does one really need more than five? ten? twenty shirts? — what would that do to our inherently theoretically failed economy? to our earth? and to ourselves?

Question is — what would it not do instead?

What if, we all counted our blessings of having clean water and air to breathe instead of expecting it to be owed to us like we’re entitled to it.  What if we asked more questions and taught the younger ones around us to ask questions too?

for one day, we could all come together and just

breathe.

like we do when the entire city is blanketed with snow, or out of power. (or when it rainstorms in Cali and no one goes outside…hahaha…)

What would that feel like if it was more than one day? more than a week? a month? (how long does it take to break bad habits?)

over 30 years ago, the very first Earth Day was the LARGEST movement of marching people that this nation had ever experienced all over the country.  30 years later, instead of cleaning up the garbage we’ve made, we are encouraged to go out and buy more even if they are ‘eco friendly products’ instead of reduce the amount we all don’t need to spend on.  Think about it.

Shopping is not and should not be the national identity of this nation — you do not need to be a consuming monster in order to survive.  Besides, who even has the money now these days?  Shopping doesn’t solve any of your problems, in fact it creates new waste and new problems, and a million more of those stupid “I’m not plastic bag” bags that are ridiculous and costly to produce.

and if you must and are so inclined to buy or need — vote with your dollar, buy smart – support those who are working hard at sustaining themselves through sustainable practices in order to feed you and their families.  Eat REAL FOOD.  I know I work on this actively everyday. I try my best not to buy what I don’t need anymore, and lordie knows I love to shop…

I am human, I try my best too.  But it’s because ‘I care about the World we share.’

and I want my kids to have a world to want to change too.  If I promise to not trash your home, to feed you, and take care of you, can you promise to take care of me and my home too?

It’s time for a new relationship, one with the earth and with other real people who all need to eat too.  Need extra inspiration? be FRESH –

xoxo Happy No Shopping because I love my Earth Day xoxo

J

Can you imagine!?

Sure it’s wasteful, but how much more food goes to waste everyday in the restaurant industry, and on all the other levels of the food system before it gets to your plate and then into the garbage?  Most of the groceries Americans buy ends up in the garbage and never gets eaten anyway… How sad.  The percentage is actually kinda scary too — but lemme dig around and get back to you on the actually numbers if you’re interested — Also, most of the food served to children in cafeterias in schools in this country are agricultural surpluses anyway — stuff that doesn’t make it onto the market.

secondly — what’s wrong with free food!? if that mom was so bothered by the food served at the school, why didn’t she provide for her own daughter the next day, or for the next three if she was sooooo bothered and disgusted? Isn’t that her job as a mom?  Is it the school’s job to feed every child in the country?  Is it the government’s and thus the taxpayers job?  Obama thinks every kid should be entitled a healthy free lunch.  Is that even the right way to go or is that the nation’s leaders trying to solve a poor systemic offshoot problem of poverty?  What bugs me in the article is the mother’s sense of entitlement.  To me, the problem is this growing cultural attitude, that I have a right to this — clean water, clean air, and food, without taking responsibility for things that are common goods.  Food is a sticky subject when it comes to common goods because nobody takes the responsibility for taking care of the system, but everybody extracts from it, and uses it, and expects it to provide an endless supply at a ‘reasonable’ price.  But that doesn’t make sense — because if we were reasonable, then it would include all the real costs of food…and the prices would be SO high that no one can afford any food.  (would that then control the population size? who would be the select few who make it through, strong and satiated? Anyway, this is for the next post — Earth Days — because the longer we ignore this terrible equation as a human race, the worse these problems of that stem from the system are getting, and after watching this movie last night, I am ready to tackle the interwoven issue of Climate change.  Stay tuned.)

I grew up in Canadia, where no child is ever ‘entitled’ to a free lunch. They must provide their own, and for many years I remember eating a slice of turkey cold cut sandwiched between two slices of white bread.  MmmHmmm, talk about bare sustenance.  And have you ever walked into one of these institutional cafeterias in a public school?  The yellow dim and dingy lighting with the stark painted brick or cement walls lined with vending machines isn’t exactly the most appetizing of places.  In marketing class we talk about “appetizing colours” and colour clues when people design restaurants and there are actual colours that can “depress the appetite”  - yellow, green, blue — maybe that’s why they all started throwing food, they were disgusted too. All I wanted to do when I was a kid was eat fun food and to make food fun when I was a kid, and that’s really all I want to do now too.

**Smack! you just got hit in the face with a slice of All American Kraft Cheese, besides, can you really call it cheese without tagging the word ‘product’ to the end of it? I’m surprised those kids didn’t throw their “only cheese sandwiches” the next day as a form of retaliation.  Hahaha, Mmm covered in cheese…

Perhaps this food fantasy of mine stems from a hot and steamy dream of having my very own passionate post harvest sex — from the 1995 movie “A Walk in the Clouds” — that’s right fellow kids of the 80’s… y’all know that sexy scene I’m talking about when all the women jump into that giant barrel of grapes and stomp around dancing barefoot to ‘press’ the wine while the men play music and sing along and the family celebrates the harvest in napa valley CaLi, post WWII.  Then “Paul” and “Victoria” get it on, all romantic and dirty and covered in grape juice and skins.  Aghh, a romantic drama at its best… (and this was during Keanu’s ‘Speed’ days! LOL)

Who said food isn’t related to love?  Maybe those kids were trying to tell us that we need to love them better, or else they will continue to throw more processed “food” around in their cafe.

(ps – anyone else bothered by the fact that they organized through their cell phones?! Haaa.)

happy conscious eating today ;)

xoxo J xoxo

We all make difficult decisions and sometimes unconscious decisions everyday about what to eat.  I know I wake up wondering about lunch and dinner, and when people ask me to pick a place to eat or to recommend them a good or fun restaurant, I know I instantly want to run to a computer and search for something new, because it’s a fun challenge.  I revert back to my old restaurants sometimes when I throw in the towel, and all I want is what’s comforable when I’m lazy, and that says a lot about who I am.  But fact of the matter is, I am learning that I gain more, and I learn more and experience more when I spend the time to put in the work, to seek and search for something that I know will change my life.

Yes, it’s very difficult.  And I know I don’t always answer like an adult.  The kid in me says “i don’t know”, when my mother has always taught me that what a responsible adult should say is “please give me some time to figure it out, to figure out what I want, and then I will get back to you asap”. Enter Elmo as *Sesame street song plays in the back of my head* when really it’s the soothing and maniacal sound of the train doors closing *bing, bong* “Yes Janet, this tool that you were just given can be applied to solving all your problems in life – GIVE YOURSELF ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD” put in the work, and you will soon see the results that you wanted faster than you whine about how hard it will be to actually get it done in the first place.

Another super important lesson I’ve learned from my mother and other very loving people in my life is that no matter how much time I think I don’t have, or that I spend wasting away indulging in my emotions or hiding from my problems to begin with, that what I feel like eating, may not always be right, and that I should ever make big decisions when I am too emotional, or too hungry because that’s when things are never clear.  Emotional eating is a tough cookie, ….or pint of ice cream, or a jar of Kimchee at 2am on a tuesday, but we all must conquer these indulgences once in a while, for what’s better — an honest look at how well I am actually taking care of myself and my body, and asking myself the hardest question of all,

What do you WANT, rooted from a deep desire to fulfill a NEED, rather than what do you Feel? Because fact of the matter is, emotions will always go up and down, and as dramatic and full of story it is to emotional eat, and eat and eat, You/I always know that we will feel like crap afterward, that the instant gratification is only enough to blind us from what we’re really dealing with, which is how hard and how much work it takes to actually be good to yourself.  Because in the end, we feel our best when we conquer ourselves, when we feel healthy in body mind and soul, and when we love ourselves so much that we threaten to change the whole world in a way that allows others to see what we see and feel as good as we feel inside and out and have access to it, because then is when we are living in true Love and all its glory.

So put in the work, to learn about your food, learn about your weaknesses with food, and learn about what your body really needs, and then spend time everyday trying to achieve a small part of that.

Learning to be strong and to say no to yourself is hard, but it can be so simple.

Because when it is simple, it becomes so clear, and all of a sudden that head versus heart versus your gut conversation becomes clear, and then that will help to decide “where to go” to get what you need.

I also recognize that I am very lucky to have the time to think about food all day long.  It’s my job, (and sure I get tired of it sometimes, and I get sad from the realities of the current existing systematic food world that isn’t fair to all) but I find that when I allow myself the time to think about what I need, then my actions help me to decide whether or not I want to grow, cook, or where to go that will get what I want for a price.

A typical conversation in my head would go – “I am hungry, I need to eat. I want to eat well and feed myself well today. I want to eat something yummy.  Hungry, so hungry. I want it all, I like variety.  Ok you can’t have it all, where to start? Pick something.  Do you need more time to search? Pick a protein, pick a carb, pick a vegetable, pick a fruit, pick a colour that complements the other,….ooh would this go with this?”

and then love the fact that you have a choice, MmmmHmm.

So no more empty calories that will just make me fat and sad, that only give me a sense of escapism.  When you’re sad, express it through something artistic.  Create something.  Cook.  Because that’s what’s true and good in the end — what’s in front of me now, and what I want to create for myself in the future.

So the next time someone asks you what you want to eat  — put in the time to search, give yourself the time.  You deserve more than quick fix answers, more than just instant gratification because it feels so GOOD to be GOOD to yourself.

and so bad* and so fun to feel YUMMY inside and out.

Happy searching,

xoxo J xoxo

I love that when our instructor asked “is nutritious food good food?” I’m pretty sure she silenced the crowd – birds chirped, and tumble weeds rolled right into the classroom.

I almost died laughing after that.  Have we all gotten so jaded that we over-think every bite that we eat? Is that a hyper priviledged point of view, to have the time and energy to even dissect every morsel of information that jades our view of nutrition?

Hard not to agree when there are some pretty crappy products out there that sell scientifically quantified food, labeled as the hot new functional drink or beverage “proven” to provide you with such and such many grams of dietary — fill in the blanks.

from ‘more fiber’ to ‘less sugar’ and ‘low sodium’ claims, to the hot new anti oxidant or longevity drug.  Are we so obsessed with our fountain of youth search for the holy grail, that any food will do even if it tastes like… pardon mon francais…shit?

So what is Good food to you?

Especially when there are so many cultural binaries that exist in western thinking – good/bad, healthy/unhealthy, overeating/starvation, sin/virtue, gluttony/taking care of oneself.

When it comes to food, we all think we’re experts in this matter because we all eat.

Hmm, let me try to put it in my own words.

Good food to me is something hearty, from the soul, hot and fresh, crisp in taste that hits the spot.  Something people ooh and agh over, a conversation piece at the dinner table that brings people together. Something that leaves me satiated, but not gross full to a point where i can’t move, something that makes my body FEEL SO GOOD after consuming every, last, crumb. . .

good food can be nutritious and healthy, and healthy and nutritious food can be so good.

ain’t you sick of the crappy foods on the market that claim goodness, when it’s really nasty? or what happen to a cookie just being a cookie, you know it’s so bad for you, but because of that it tastes so good.

there’s also something to say about rebellion.

When someone tells you not to do something, not to eat something, that it’s forbidden, don’t you just want it that much more!?

and when someone tells you to eat something, to do something, and advises you to lean towards something that is “good FOR you”, don’t you just want to rebel and say no, just for the sake of saying no and regaining some sort of “control” over your own will?

Then,

How do you fit into this constant conversation? What’s good vs. what just tastes so good? how do you sort through all this information? Does it even matter?  In the end, does the simple act of eating and the pleasures we gain from the act of eating hold enough value for us to just “live in the moment”? Or do we constantly have to fight ourselves in order to maintain healthy, and lead healthy lifestyles.

So which of these tenant do you follow?

“My body is a temple, I want to respect it as such”

“My body is a machine, input is directly related to output”

“My body is resilient, I bounce back from whatever I instinctually do to push my own limits to grow stronger”

“I eat whatever I want, and deal with or suffer through the advantages or consequences later”

For me, the search for GOOD FOOD in my life is simply a search for balance. I love to experience new things, yet what I find to hold true is what I decorate my body as temple with.  What works for me not necessarily works for you, and i do not want to capitalize on any crash diets that have worked for a few.  All i wish to do is share my love of eating and experiencing my world through food, with you.

Because living in the grey area has always been more fun.  Black and White is too easy.  Life’s a rainbow of gray, Live it up & Eat it up.

You decide. Everyone has a different formula for what’s best, and what balance means.  But isn’t that the most beautiful and profound thing? That no two people in this world are alike, and all the nuances and differences is what shades this world of black and white with vivid colour.

So what I’m saying is — be aware of what you’re putting into your body, but enjoy the crap out of it too.

Happy happy eating ;)

I hope this inspires you to find what’s GOOD for you too.

So as of late, I have been studying the ins and outs of capital and what it has meant historically in terms of a bartering system for the idea of a free market system.  Woooweee, loaded words indeed.

Because when I think of a supermarket, and all the different lenses in which you can dissect the concept, I smile at the fact that it is still one of my favourite places to visit.  Even growing up, I was facsinated by the idea of them.  As kids, my older sister, char, and I would play supermarket sweep. (tangent: Sometimes it was ‘library’, sometimes ‘miss hong kong’, depending on how we felt that day. — but yes folks, to quote old folgies, we used our imagination instead of playing with technology, which back then anyone could hardly afford –) We would draw up our own JLAND currency and money on paper and cut them out, coins included, which was half the fun, and set up the room with all our play food, and whatever would could find in the pantry.  We would time ourselves to take turns hoarding things into our bright yellow and red plastic fisher price shopping carts, and take turns being a cashier.  My sister and char would always get boared by the time it was my turn, so it makes sense that my first paying job as a teenager was a cashier at Loblaws (now one of Canada’s largest supermarket chains)

Food is the funniest kind of physical product or “thing” to barter with in my books.  It holds so much more value than money, yet is quantified more and more so as we get super scientific in the way it is produced and cultivated, marketed and sold in this country.  Food is consumed like any other product, but because it directly affects so many people so many times in one day, it is hard to ignore issues like health — of the self, and of the environment.  It is essential to survival, yet is completely complicated when it comes to the power of having access to it.

The more I read on about neoliberalism, and the standardization of the dollar, the more I understand the terrifying brilliance in the politics of building a system that holds and maintains each person’s power in a certain place – whether it is that you have power by gains of capital, or those who are completely powerless as a number in society due to lack of capital.

Seriously, from being completely enraptured by micro and macro theories of economics — I can’t help analyze and pick sides and pick apart what’s fair or not in the world of global trade and protection.  And the more I read about these trade negogiations, the more I laugh at the fact that all I can picture is a huge boardroom of children in oversized suits playing tradesies with their lunches.

“I’ll trade you a fruit-roll up for my fruit cup! It’s tastier but doesn’t spoil!”

“Half my turkey sandwich for a weeks worth of PB&J!”

“Five month old Halloween candy for your solid easter bunny chocolate ear!” (true story)

And I can’t help but wonder — who that adult figure is that finally comes in and says: “Stop playing with your food!”

Whether or not we were taught how to ‘play fair’ in the playground or in the classroom, there would always be a bully (“developed” countries) picking on the smaller ones (less resourceful “developing” countries).  Sure, such bullies or the more popular kids can be marketed as shedding their fair share of tough love to the little people, but what happens when everyone’s security of food becomes threatened?  “If you can’t play fair, I’ll take it all away and then both of you won’t have anything to eat!”

Perhaps realizing the realities of environmental externalities, and systematic protectionist administrators keeping the rules of the game in play shakes things up a bit once in a while, but in the long run, who is benefitting from any of this when both sides are out of resources?

Also, in the world of make believe, we only affect our stuffed animal population, and perhaps the poor dressed up family pet thrown into the mix.  Ideally we only represent ourselves and our own risks in any sort of negotiating power relationship, but in reality, talk and play with money involves standards, taxes, tariffs, futures inflating demands of agricultural commodity crops, and most importantly the population at large who need to eat lunch too.  And not just today’s lunch, but the idea of having lunch for days, even weeks to come.  Such “leaders” of society or powerful capitalistic players are only acting on behalf of their own interests, and the interests of those powerful enough to affect others within their own country, but what about everyone else?

I do like variety in my selection.  Maybe that’s how all of this bartering began.  Trading you a chicken for a pound of flour.  But we don’t live in that nostalgic world anymore.  And it’s unfair to say it was ever fair back then either.  Question is, if we’ve transitioned into a global economy, and a global society, how do we take care of everybody?  Especially when the population is growing, and when the real cost of food (environmental externalities included) are high all over the world?

So can poverty and hunger ever be solved without looking a the greater socio political and systematic problem of the structure that keeps everyone in their place?  Can we ever really play fair?

In an adult world, do we ever stop acting like children when real lives are at stake?  Do these leaders who go home to their warm meals and families after a long day of work sit down to remember all those who are less fortunate that they like we were taught to do every night at the dinner table as children?  And would that even matter? Doesn’t everyone hoard and protect their own interests when they are hungry and when it’s part of the rules of the game?  It’s like that game show — Supermarket Sweep.

How fun would it be to be given the chance to run around a supermarket with play money?  To be given five mins to push a cart around in order to hoard as much as possible in order to win the game!  And you could always tell the smart shoppers from the more is more shoppers.  I remember one guy threw about 8 turkeys into his kart,

and I always wondered, he did with all of those turkeys.

Perhaps he traded the other team for some sweet potatoes.

Mmmhmmm.