so much drinking
so little eating
so much flirting with promiscuity (food is sex. sex is food. y’all have heard that before…)
and so much toying between what’s professional and what’s simply keeping us sane.

i’ve been coming home at 4, 5, 6 am in the last couple of days, in the last two weeks from bar hopping, pool, clubbing, karaoking, hanging out, networking, schmoozing, and simply playing with my new homies.
you know, it’s the importance of ‘happy hour’,
except our happy hours are ‘industry nights’
when everyone else is sleeping, because we have just gotten off work.
man, when you work, stress, and sweat together
get yelled at, produce great food, good food, bad food, unservable food, all together
there’s bound to be drinking, smoking, and dancing in order to balance it all out.

the adrenaline,
the hangovers,
the power throughs,
the early mornings,
the very late nights,
the VERY early early mornings / late nites that turn into one long day
from cooking for each other, to family meals, and going out for those greasy 3 am drunken snacks

there’s no wonder, we not like honey. like glue. like a PB&J.

“this lifestyle it’s hella fun, but i’m going to burn out soon”
(spoken by many, and even coming out of my mouth the other morning at 6:30 am when i finally reached my driveway…thinking to myself, ‘if i start work at 2pm, i can still get 6 hours of sleep!’ sweeet. shower time!)
and cheers to that!

i know, it’s not sustainable (we don’t get enough pay to do this for very long in order to actually financially sustain ourselves)
and it’s physically tolling on our health, on my health
of course everyday when i struggle to get up at noon, i think to myself — “mann, this is crazy… i look, TIRED.”
and d-d-damn! Look how thin i’ve gotten! i’m gaining muscles in the right places, and have slimmed down to nothing, it’s like bootcamp, and i have a 16 year old waist again! hahaha! it reminds me a lil of when i used to train in high school for dragonboat racing — holy crap, i’m fit again, skinny, and constantly hungry.
well, that doesn’t count, i guess i’m ALWAYS hungry for more ;)

which of course is always met with “you work in a kitchen, don’t you EAT all day long?!”
to which i laugh again.
- hahaha, in your dreaming glamourized version of what you think it means to work in a kitchen ratatouille stylez, yes, but in reality, when you’re spending 8-12 hours each day feeding other people, it’s ironically difficult to sneak food into your mouth when you work in an ‘open’ kitchen.

which brings me to my next point –
so everyone always asks — “have you seen anything unmentionable in the industry?? like what is it really like back there? how DIRTY is it?”
– ermm, ok, i’ve seen people’s apartments in college that are scarier than most scary nasty kitchens i’ve seen or worked in.
or people’s houses.
truth is, CHEF’s ARE HELLA CLEAN. we are OCD even.
because we’re all type A personalities that strive for perfection, and who all have a incredible sense of drive, passion, and a sense of clockwork timing.

most people ask and most people have the right to know, i get it,
but it’s not like we have so many secrets to hide. haha which i think is kind of hilarious.
well, i guess if they saw what the kitchen actually looks like during service, my question is — would they want to eat at that same restaurant again in knowing the reality of how your food is prepared and under what circumstances, conditions, and ‘terms of agreement’ they walk into? and after judging, MOST PEOPLE EAT IT ANYWAY.

well,
chances are you’ve probably had worse in your lifetime too.
and as sensitive as people can be, most people are pretty resilient, i think.
i mean it’s taken years for all the macdonalds in the world to penetrate health ripples into science journals and to obtain ‘professional’ observation and research into the diseases of the western lifestyle –
is the “FOOD” Products that you eat coming from ‘cleaner’ supermarkets with all the preservatives in it, better for you? luck of the draw no?
the other day my dad found a croissant in the kitchen in a half closed tupperware that he had forgotten about for a month, that’s been sitting out and about on the counter. he opened it and it looked perfect. i mean, EWW.
no mold, nothing. and i mean, mold ain’t picky, mold will eat anything in the right conditions… air, moisture, heat. yup. all of the above in a container sitting beside the stove for a month. (don’t get me started on how unorganized my mom’s kitchen is.. haha)
would you still eat that if mold didn’t even want it? HAHAHA — it’s like SPAM — that shit will go through natural disasters and nuclear wars! and people are worried about roaches? chances are roaches will outlive us, and that must mean they’re doing something right, no? hahaha… maybe not if they continue to eat our leftovers…hahaha, resilience! ho!!

so it’s been really interesting in the last 5 weeks in observing the way a high volume kitchen runs -
sometimes, when there’s just so much food to be prepped, cooked, and served,
there simply is no time to do all those little nitpicky things you have time to do at home when you cook for others.
so we cut corners on certain things, naturally…
cuz cooking in a restaurant kitchen and serving about 1000 people a day (at max capacity with two services) is definitely different than cooking for yourself, a family of four, and so forth, etc, etc…

so there’s no big secret really.
maybe that’s the aww of having an open kitchen where the guests can look into the kitchen and actually see the cooks prepare the food.
i wonder if they can hear us swearing and eff-ing off everyone else when certain orders come in…
and is the dinning room really that loud that they don’t here our often crude and sexually charged remarks to each other?
what do our guests think when they see a cook, aka me, EAT something, or quickly shove something into my mouth and chew like a horse cuz that bite is supposed to sustain me for another erm, hour of work??
yes, we’re technically not “allowed” to eat in that open kitchen area, so we all squat down like the asians and eat anyway cuz i’m usually starving, and sometimes i just don’t even bother to squat (omg i’m such a rebel, i know! — or am i human? haha)
and the fact that i feel like a goldfish, is enough to make me nervous about my itchy nose or sweaty sweaty forehead when anyone, let alone kids, run up to the edge and stand there and watch us make their food.

this is where that thin thin “professional” line comes into play,
most people who go out to eat at restaurants are ok customers, they tip ok, and they can be appreciative.
and most people walk into the restaurant like they’re owed the treatment of their lives, because they are paying for something and we have to gain it, like the magical disney threshold point i learned about in college (– that being, when after you pay an admissions fee, do you start to relax and have fun and feel like it’s all ‘worth’ the price?)

isn’t it funny that people who are skeptical about what happens behind the kitchen doors, are often the ones that think the restaurant owes them shit when they walk in and instantly aren’t satisfied already?? hmm, what goes around comes around??

i mean, do you stare at your mom when she prepares your dinner to watch if she’s doing anything wrong or messed up?
HAHAHA, can you imagine?! — she’ll smack you in the back of your head! and then make you cook it yourself, AND THEN make you clean up after your mess and the whole family’s afterwards!

and thus is the service industry –

it is full of people who bust their asses and work their behinds off,
to cook,
to serve,
to clean,
and to make sure you’re getting everything in a timely manner – (that’s for you to judge if you saw what actually goes on in the back and the speed at which we do work)
who don’t get paid enough to have time to change the system or speak up about it until they believe they have more “power” to do it their way, when they become an executive chef… one day…
but i guess this is where i come in. ;)

HAHAHA!
the company has all these policies that fit their mold of what they want their guests to be experiencing when they walk into the “buzz, sparkle, and magic” of it all…
and it’s actually interesting,
to see that
really, in the end of it all –
it’s all for YOU.
everything this industry does,
all the insane devoted hours to cooking, prepping, buying, making, cleaning, over and over and over again
is all so YOU can eat.
so you can have variety in your life
so you can have an option, as to what YOU want for dinner tonight
so you don’t have to farm it, grow it, pick it, wash it, clean it, chop it, mix it, cook it, store it, and clean up yourself.

i guess that’s the bigger secret here.
so why have we all become so blind to the process of where our food comes from?

hrmm.
think about it next time you go out to eat ;)
xoxo J xoxo

ps- i have lived through my word and have started my tipping revolution, have you join in yet?? :)
tip ya cooks darlings ;)
happy eating*

– Hoai: hey i have one question for you
what are the evils of high fructose corn syrup?
my friend told me he avoids it, so now i do too
me: it’s “toxic”, like margerine
it’s the kind of sugar that’s all chemically formed –
it throws your insulin off balance, so you’ll hit sugar crashes
AND, b/c it tricks your body in insulin production, you’ll keep eating more – that’s how ppl get fat
you’ll keep eating b/c your body is craving the nutrients, but b/c you’re producing all the insulin, the cravings will be for sugar..
and hence it’s a vicious cycle.
and since it’ll make you crave sugar, it’s all empty calories that you’ll be eating..
ka-peesh?

Hoai: sounds like.. cocaine!
me: yeaaa
me: AND cuz there’s shitloads of it — it’s a cheap way of using all the over produced corn in this country
it’s CHEAP to sell to companies to use as sweeteners
Hoai: ok i will stay away
me: hahaha

Hoai: what other ingredients should i avoid in my food?
me: mmm, don’t think avoid –
Think EAT MORE OF –
like veggies, fruit, wheat,
potatoes.
the more of those whole foods and GOOD stuff your system gets, the more nutrients that will actually FEED u
so then all the other stuff like – meat proteins, dairy, and fats will be like bonuses
Hoai: yeah, PROTEIN – where can i go for wheat?
me: couscous -
bread
rice
cereal
(easy on the cereals with lots of sugar though, anything not processed, and any kind of cereal that actually takes longer to cook is less processed and better for you, like hot oatmeal, try to stay away from the 1min stuff, even thought i used to be a big fan of it too…guilty.)
wheatberries
quinoa
any kind of Legumes really –
beans
green beans
peas
mm, start with THIS CHART (link)
that i found on veganpeace.com –
anything on the list is good
and the thing is,
the more whole foods you eat, the more full you actually get.
no empty calories
and by “whole foods” i mean, anything without a package
and anything without listed ingredients that you a) can’t pronounce or recognize b) has more than 5 ingredients, c) something your grandmother wouldn’t recognize either
try to treat yourself to GOOD proteins when you do want meat or fish or chicken — like stuff that is pastured (as in, the animal actually eats grass and not corn)
and organic meats and seafood that have no growth hormone or antibiotics in it. and because of that, all the saturated FAT in these organic foods are pure and GOOD for u. you need fats to absorb stuff like Vitamin A and E in your body (they are fat soluble)
and if you eat like this, you’ll FEEL so different,
you’ll FEEL great! truly.

i was starving the other day, woke up and i ate a steamed sweet potato, a scrambled egg, a vanilla yogurt, and i blended an orange, an apple, and a banana into a smoothie before i went to work. –
and it felt so good!! :)

i love that all my reading has paid off — :) :) :)
Michael Pollan’s IN DEFENSE OF FOOD (link)
and Marion Nestle’s WHAT TO EAT (link)

and in doing nothing, one must eat to survive still…
i was reading “Eat Pray Love” last night and i came across this passage:

“Italians have traditionally always been hard workers, especially those long suffering labourers known as braccianti, but even against that backdrop of hard work, il bel far niente, has always been a cherished italian ideal, the beauty of doing nothing is the goal of all your work, the final accomplishmnet for which you are most highly congradualted. the more exquisitely and delightfully you can do nothing, the higher your life’s achievement. You don’t necessarily have to be rich in order to experience this, either. There’s another wonderful italian expression: l’arte d’arrangiarsi – the art of making something out of nothing. the art of turning a few simple ingredients into a feast, or a few gathered friends into a festival. Anyone with talent for happiness can do this, not only the rich.” – (gilbert, pg. 61-62)

elizabeth gilbert continues on to comparing how Americans spend all of their time working harder than the rest of the world, and yet they don’t know how to relax and enjoy life, and how taking time off could be met with attitudes like people saying “how completely irresponsible of you”, or “what a self indulgent luxury” that is.
and most importantly, (i think) “how do YOU define pleasure?”

“Americans have an inability to relax into sheer pleasure. ours is an entertainment seeking nation, but not necessarily a pleasure seeking one. americans spend billions to keep themselves amused with everything from porn to theme parks to wars, but not exactly the same thing as quiet enjoyment. americans work harder and longer and more stressful hours than anyone in the world today, but alraming stats show that americans feel more happy and fulfilled in their offices then they do in their own homes. of course, we all inevitably work too hard, then get burned out and have to spend the whole weekend in our pajamas, eating cereal straight out of hte box and staring at the TV in a mild coma (which is the opposite of working, yes, but not exactly the same thing as pleasure). Americans don’t really know how to do – nothing. ” (gilbert, pg. 61)

hahahaha… oh how many times have i felt that in the states… and yet how exciting it was for me as a young adult to figure out what that kind of pleasure was in my work when i was interning at the foodnetwork. To find that balance between work and play. — And by work i mean work – 14 hour days, hustling and covered in food. and playtime was indulging excessively, gluttony if you will in a city like manhattan. And most of the time, not always, such a binary opposite is what people live and breathe everyday in that crazy city. I Loved my life in new york, but almost every month i had that “get me the eff out of this city this weekend” urge — to which i would live my bicoastal life and fly to california for more partying and beach chilling (even during the cold winter months), or take a train into jersey to see my baby cousin in that fresh smelling mall country of america known as the suburbs, where the white picketed fences actually line the deer and the wild turkeys that roam free on the green grassy hills, where there is nothing but churches, malls, schools, and going into “town” for an ice cream cone, and kids play in their long acre yards wearing juicy couture jump suits and tiny tiny ugg boots.
i’ve had the privilege to live and study in both Los Angeles, and New York, which had been a dream of mine since i was, well since baz lurman came out with that sunscreen song. (haha, don’t judge me :) )

Living in America was glamourous, and glamour can be empty. i believe (and correct me if i’m wrong) that john berger first defined glamour as a marketing concept manipulated and used by people to sell products. By first making you picture yourself owning that item that makes you glamourous, you are thus putting yourself into the model’s shoes, and the reality of your life pulls you out of that fantasy just long enough for you to start envying yourself for actually obtaining that status, and hence, you NEED that thing, whatever that thing is.. or you strive towards that ‘nice’ thing in order to obtain that status of being envy-able not only to yourself but to others as well. “like, hey look at me! i made it! check me out! so HOT.”

Most people who live in manhattan agree that it is a place for young rich yuppies, who have the energy and money to blow while gaining some “life experience” while still fresh and green out of college. There are roughly three types of new yorkers –
“ There is, first, the New York of the man or woman who was born here, who takes the city for granted and accepts its size and its turbulence as natural and inevitable. Second, there is the New York of the commuter — the city that is devoured by locusts each day and spat out each night. Third, there is the New York of the person who was born somewhere else and came to New York in quest of something. […] Commuters give the city its tidal restlessness; natives give it solidity and continuity; but the settlers give it passion.” — E.B. White
HAHAHA, i love that i read that on one of those “poetry in motion” billboard ads on the subway, while i was commuting through manhattan to work or for play.
I was always stressed and tired, and always on the move. but i loved every minute of it because i, as i saw it as a misfortune before, and now i see as a blessing, am lucky enough to Opp out of that lifestyle and back into a more european one like the one i’m living in canada today.
To me, it’s all part of the system, a system in which americans want to change so badly, esp now. That people have no other way to achieve the unattainable all american dream other than to work their asses off and strive for everything because everyone is starting from nothing — debt, no health care, no social security, and where education is a privilege. People give it all they got day in and day out because they have nothing else to loose, and everything to gain in terms of hard work and benefits needed in order to sustain life. How can americans live with pleasure if they feel as though they can’t even take a sick day and get taken care of by the system? — really. (To which i pop you over to Micheal Moore’s “SICKO” — if you haven’t watched this documentary, i highly recommend it. ) And even Holidays off to be with family, can seem like a chore sometimes. (I watched “Four Christmases”, yesterday to which i give credit to the writer’s and director for this hilarious and heartfelt way to handle this kind of story)
This “free” world system has caused so many to work themselves to death and as a result, people don’t know what or even how to find the simple pleasures in life, even when they go on vacation.
of course i’m talking about the culture at a whole, observations from studying and living, and breathing, from an insiders and outsider’s point of view for the last 6 years that i have chosen to claim another identity of mine.

but all of that aside once again, i found some of my best friends in america. People who i simply find the pure pleasure in doing nothing with :)
My greatest pleasure in life is sharing food, drink, and conversation with people no matter where i am in the world. and i think I’m not alone on this one ;)

Which brings me to my next point. my internal hungers lately –
so the beauty of being a stage, a volunteer, a freelance food stylist, and a freelance holiday party bartender (call me! ;)), is that I have A TON of free time on my hands, so much that it seems like i’ve been on vacation for 7 months now.
ok, ok,
(that is what i usually tell people who don’t know me, because i am stuck in this american point of view that doing nothing is bad, and i feel judged)
but to be honest, i’ve had a major shift in my life in the last seven months. i moved home, back to canada after indulging myself in a culture for over 5 years of over working myself to death, to create, live, and breathe the kind of passion, spirit, and envy, that i felt i was missing in my life whilst growing up in toronto. (few! that’s a lot of commas, and hence a lot of breaths of fresh air to take in!) i know… :)
… and to my accord, i’ve been doing nothing but eating, watching movies, listening to music, dancing, and reading, and spending time with old friends, and with my family, immediate and extended.

and coming from a city like manhattan where everything is FAST PACED, GO GO GO!, where people are anxious and bump into you and you bump into them on the streets and no one even flinches, it’s very strange for me to stand still, to sit still and watch the snow fall on the ground and cover the entire city with stillness. Riiiiight winter, i had forgotten all about canadian winters in which mother nature is telling us to just slow down once in a while and take a break to hibernate.
and after fighting this major shift and finally learning to settle down into this “blessing in disguise” since septemeber, i find that i’ve been having a lot of fun. :) for the first time i’ve been able to stand still and watch the world go by, and i must admit, it can be quite pleasurable.
And what about this high life of work hard play hard lifestyle which i have learned to put on a pedestool my whole life, that had become my norm? (a lifestyle in which i have learned to build and accept, since people are always amazed at how much energy i have.)

i am learning the art of doing nothing.

from september until now, (well ok, fine since june.)
i’ve been missing the rush, of taking care of myself fully, and have been missing the rush of being in the kitchen and at work where i never starve, and even in this crazy economy is still getting phone calls for work opps in nyc. i miss walking all over the city to indulge in gluttony in the face paced manhattan eating lifestyle. ;) from boutique restaurant to boutique restaurant, hole in the wall to bar food to street food to cooking in my tiny studio apt kitchen. omg i miss it all :)

So, on the topic of food in which i love to talk about and feel slightly guilty over in this post since I’m not entirely talking about food today –
Here is my reading list, of books that have helped me to delve into my zest for knowledge on FOOD and all that’s in between in the past very slow but pleasurable few months that i’ve had at home.
i highly recommend them to you too :)

The Omnivore’s Dilemma – Michael Pollan
Eat Pray Love – Elizabeth Gilbert
Food Politics – Marion Nestle
What to Eat – Marion Nestle
Fast Food Nation – Eric Scholsser
The Last Chinese Chef – Nicole Mones
Nutrition, Concepts and Controversies – Sizer Whitney
Kitchen Confidential – Anthony Bourdain
Alice Let’s Eat – Calvin Trillin
Don’t Try This At Home, Culinary Catastrophes from World’s Greatest Chefs – Ed. by: Kimberly Witherspoon, Andrew Friedman
Return to Paris – Colette Rossant
The Making of a Chef – Michael Ruhlman
Larousse Gastronomique, The World’s Greatest Culinary Encyclopedia -Clarkson Potter / Publishers

…and many more… (sung like the birthday song.)

I have learned a thing or two about who i am, who i was, and what my roots are through exposure to different concepts of food and culture. for one, learning how to take care of myself in college was a hugeeee thing.
what are preventative and healing foods?
What do i want to eat today?
What am i CRAVING and why?
What gives me the most nutritional value for the amount of calories i spend?
Or am i eating enough for the amount of energy i need to use in order to accomplish i what i need to do today?

qeustions?
me too.
FEEED ME :)
Labels: books on food
Link: http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0143038419/ref=sib_dp_pt#reader-link

Welcome to my Gastro Heaven.
I have decided to start blogging about the thing that makes my world go roundy round, what floats my boat, and what my gutt talks to me about each and every day; and that is precisely – FOOD
I grew up learning to listen to the conversation between my head and my heart, and i have finally realized that at the ripe young age of 25 (yes, a pretty monumental year don’t you think? ;) ) – that my gutt has been feeling oh so left out.
so here,
in this space you will find:

new foods, new nutritional wonders, properly written recipes (yes there are a lot of not so good ones out there – and that’s a mouthful to say at which i am ready to challenge), and a daily blog of what i’ve eaten. sounds familiar? maybe. that’s for you to judge.
this is how i roll. jlo styles.
cuz
jlo eats.

i live to eat / i eat to live

and i LOVE to write about it.
and that is my motto in life.

except let’s make this fun shall we?

Food should be fun, food should be orgasmic, and food should be everything you’ve ever dreamt of.
Why shouldn’t it be?
Food can inspire you, food can sustain you, & food needs to FEED YOUR body mind and soul.
Why can’t it?

scared and confused about what to eat? about what is safe to eat anymore? and most importantly what is – dun, dun, dun – HEALTHY?!?
me too!
so talk to me, walk with me on my lifelong journey to discover
what should jlo eat today?!
and the question that is always on my mind and minds alike -the same question that will always always be asked every single day of your life whether you know it or not -
What should i have for BRUNNER- (BReakfast-LUNch-dinNER) today/tonight/tomorrow?
(and what the heck did i have yesterday!?)

my stomach loves to hug yours :)
-Jay