“What do you want to eat?”
Is the Question of the Century.
We all make difficult decisions and sometimes unconscious decisions everyday about what to eat. I know I wake up wondering about lunch and dinner, and when people ask me to pick a place to eat or to recommend them a good or fun restaurant, I know I instantly want to run to a computer and search for something new, because it’s a fun challenge. I revert back to my old restaurants sometimes when I throw in the towel, and all I want is what’s comforable when I’m lazy, and that says a lot about who I am. But fact of the matter is, I am learning that I gain more, and I learn more and experience more when I spend the time to put in the work, to seek and search for something that I know will change my life.
Yes, it’s very difficult. And I know I don’t always answer like an adult. The kid in me says “i don’t know”, when my mother has always taught me that what a responsible adult should say is “please give me some time to figure it out, to figure out what I want, and then I will get back to you asap”. Enter Elmo as *Sesame street song plays in the back of my head* when really it’s the soothing and maniacal sound of the train doors closing *bing, bong* “Yes Janet, this tool that you were just given can be applied to solving all your problems in life – GIVE YOURSELF ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD” put in the work, and you will soon see the results that you wanted faster than you whine about how hard it will be to actually get it done in the first place.
Another super important lesson I’ve learned from my mother and other very loving people in my life is that no matter how much time I think I don’t have, or that I spend wasting away indulging in my emotions or hiding from my problems to begin with, that what I feel like eating, may not always be right, and that I should ever make big decisions when I am too emotional, or too hungry because that’s when things are never clear. Emotional eating is a tough cookie, ….or pint of ice cream, or a jar of Kimchee at 2am on a tuesday, but we all must conquer these indulgences once in a while, for what’s better — an honest look at how well I am actually taking care of myself and my body, and asking myself the hardest question of all,
What do you WANT, rooted from a deep desire to fulfill a NEED, rather than what do you Feel? Because fact of the matter is, emotions will always go up and down, and as dramatic and full of story it is to emotional eat, and eat and eat, You/I always know that we will feel like crap afterward, that the instant gratification is only enough to blind us from what we’re really dealing with, which is how hard and how much work it takes to actually be good to yourself. Because in the end, we feel our best when we conquer ourselves, when we feel healthy in body mind and soul, and when we love ourselves so much that we threaten to change the whole world in a way that allows others to see what we see and feel as good as we feel inside and out and have access to it, because then is when we are living in true Love and all its glory.
So put in the work, to learn about your food, learn about your weaknesses with food, and learn about what your body really needs, and then spend time everyday trying to achieve a small part of that.
Learning to be strong and to say no to yourself is hard, but it can be so simple.
Because when it is simple, it becomes so clear, and all of a sudden that head versus heart versus your gut conversation becomes clear, and then that will help to decide “where to go” to get what you need.
I also recognize that I am very lucky to have the time to think about food all day long. It’s my job, (and sure I get tired of it sometimes, and I get sad from the realities of the current existing systematic food world that isn’t fair to all) but I find that when I allow myself the time to think about what I need, then my actions help me to decide whether or not I want to grow, cook, or where to go that will get what I want for a price.
A typical conversation in my head would go – “I am hungry, I need to eat. I want to eat well and feed myself well today. I want to eat something yummy. Hungry, so hungry. I want it all, I like variety. Ok you can’t have it all, where to start? Pick something. Do you need more time to search? Pick a protein, pick a carb, pick a vegetable, pick a fruit, pick a colour that complements the other,….ooh would this go with this?”
and then love the fact that you have a choice, MmmmHmm.
So no more empty calories that will just make me fat and sad, that only give me a sense of escapism. When you’re sad, express it through something artistic. Create something. Cook. Because that’s what’s true and good in the end — what’s in front of me now, and what I want to create for myself in the future.
So the next time someone asks you what you want to eat — put in the time to search, give yourself the time. You deserve more than quick fix answers, more than just instant gratification because it feels so GOOD to be GOOD to yourself.
and so bad* and so fun to feel YUMMY inside and out.
Happy searching,
xoxo J xoxo