JLoeats.com

i had a huge craving today for – Siew Long Bao or Little Dragon Buns (as i like to call them, with my chinglishy direct translations)
and i had a cold sore in my mouth — (the worst enemy in my line of work)
but i decided to power through it because once i get a craving, it’s over.
i can think of nothing but.
so i woke up in pain, and to try to battle off my yeet hay” to off balanced “hot chi”, i threw a banana, an apple, and an whole peeled orange into the blender.

BZZZZZZ, good morning smoothie!

and lo and behold, my mouth felt so much better, the sore felt like it deswelled -(is that a word? haha) after about 20 mins.
i also downed about two bottles of water, and had a vanilla yogurt to boost.
so i decided to take on the siew long baos, and drove to my favourite place in toronto with my mum.

and you know what the best part is about siew long baos? –
the real crab meat ones.
*DroooL.
“one steamer for me please.”
mmmmm….
i drank some hot soymilk in anticipation of these little buns,
and started feeling like my fruitmedicine was wearing off…
quick…
ah HA! the indifferent waitress just threw down the steamer!
chopsticks go!

i reach for one,
and just when i secretly pat myself on the back for my amazing chopstick skills (my dad used to train me by making me race him in picking up a bowl of chinese checker marbles into another bowl whilst growing up) —

the thing pops!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

don’t you hate it when you are really excited about putting one into your mouth, droooling in anticipation, and then it pops on it’s way from the steamer to your plate in between your chopsticks?!
and all that oooey gooooey awesome SOUP deliciousness just ooozes out of the dumpling,
and i cry a little inside.
quick! save it!!
lick the plate —
umm, i am in public.
crap.
hahahaha.
sad face.

i think these are the saddest food moments in my life.
when things that are highly anticipated don’t make it into my mouth on time.
oh how it hurts when a master piece is dropped or wasted,
or ruined.
especially when i am the most hungry in anticipation of those amazing explosive flavours that party in my mouth to fix a craving –
oh so sad.
it just breaks my heart in two.

there were two moments i remember growing up as a child and having the stairs to my basement as my arch nemesis. naturally it was the path to the television, and i was fixing my after school snack which became my favourite meal of the day when i was younger because i had complete control over what i wanted to eat. so it made sense at the time.

sad food memory number 1 -
the last chocolate cupcake.
i came home. it was one of those days where i just wanted something sweet.
it was my lucky day, there was one hostess chocolate cupcake left. the kind with the cream filling and the white icing swirly on the top. iconic if you saw it.
i was so excited since food never lasted more than a day, actually, no, give that 12 hours in my house while i was growing up.
11 family members would be in and out of our tiny house each and everyday and food was a hot commodity.
i looked around to see if anyone was around, like my sister, who i’d have to share it with, since we shared EVERYTHING at that age. but alas, she was already downstairs, and it was allll mine. haha!.
i grab a bowl and i transfer the cupcake carefully into it, pour myself a glass of milk, and head downstairs
one step, two step –
i am staring at the cupcake in excitement,
three step –
whooooop!
slip
crash, pang.
i loose my step, i slip somehow and i go face forwards down the stairs…
noooooooooooo,
save the cupcakeeee!!!!
i grip the bowl as hard as i remember but i loose it,
it goes flying, and i go flying down the stairs like superman.
OW.
i blink.
my dad comes running from what seemed like above me -
my sister comes from the tv room, and she picks up the bowl (that miraculously still had the cupcake in it but smashed up a lil, and my dad picks me up in one fell swoop
“are you ok?”
my eight year old body is disoriented
“yea”
while thinking “where’s my cupcake?!”

my sister presents the bowl to my face
“do you still want it?” –implying that she would take it
“UMM, YESSSSS!”
of course. i think i deserve it now!
“split it with your sister”
and my dad walks away –
ughhh. boo.

sad food memory #2 –
the bowl of gong gie meen / ramen.
after school once again,
i make the perfect bowl of ramen.
i had a lot of practice making ramen, since it was my food of choice when i was younger — (see the previous post dedicated soley to ramen)
and again,
last drop of soup from my ladle goes into the bowl sweeping across the perfectly al dente noodles made with care,
i carry the bowl very slowly down the stairs…
and –

you can only imagine.
sadness..

i guess i just grew up hating to waste food, because everything was expensive and food was hard to come by because we could hardly afford clothes.
and it’s made me a humble person.

and when i see tons of food being throw out at the end of a night after a dinner service at a restaurant,
it makes me cry too.

there MUST be a program somewhere that takes this food and brings it to shelters across the city -
i am on the prowl -
let me know if you have any leads as well ;)

xoxo J xoxox