JLoeats.com

how many times have you mentally or literally reviewed a place like this —

“the food was good, not too expensive, but the service was &%($%!”

i am almost tired of writing and saying it. because it’s the same thing over and over. there’s a lot to be tolerated, but why should i put up with rudeness at any sit down service place? it’s a different story if it’s a take out place, or a whole in the wall, i just don’t understand the lack of business sense. happy guests = more business = more money!!! isn’t that a given?!

i was at Lemongrass today, (i can say this without any privacy issues since there are a million places that aren’t chained together called “Lemongrass” in Toronto) and i was with my parents. “want to try a new place?”
“sure!!” i’m always down for new places. why not right?
we drive twenty mins, we park, we walk in. (this alone means that places in t.o. are so spread out that new developments and new establishments are popping up everywhere, and because of this, you’d expect some level of competition and excellence, no?)
no. i almost laugh to myself as i walk in and it looks the same as many “recently new” asian restaurants popping up all over toronto do. (there must be one interior designer and architect who is making BANK in this city, because all these places loooook and feel the SAME! as if a design warehouse had a shipment of the trendy new materials for a contractor to use (lately it’s been dark wood and beige walls), you can almost track down which restaurants in the city have been remodeled by whom and at what time period in the last few years…hahahaha)

so we scan the whole place which is empty except for two tables,
and stand there awkwardly waiting for someone to tell us where to sit.
finally, my mom walks towards an open random table cuz the doorway is cold
and we sit down without any assistance or greeting.
the server is standing next to us chatting with the other table on our right,
the table to our left has not been busted yet, and the two dollar tip is still sitting on the table
“excuse me”, my mom says. but no answer.
the waitress finally turns around, like she’s annoyed that we interrupted her conversation
“i’ve been here before, and i know this dish takes longer to cook, so can u put in this order (1/2 cornish hen) while they decide what they want?” says my mom.
the server looks at her, confused, “ugh, ok” and walks away.
my dad looks into his tea cup, it’s dirty. there’s a ring of red around it and some solid crud. yeah, yum. it looks like someone just poured out the left over tea in it the last time and ran it through the washer if any – very briefly or upside down.
five mins pass,
no tea…
my dad is thirsty.
he signals me to grab a clean cup from the table next to mine
i grab the cup from his hand and say, “let me give this back to the server, they need to know about this, it’s gross”
another server comes by, i show her the cup, and she reaches over to the table where i grabbed the clean one from, also confused as to why i switched them already.
i look at the menu
another two mins pass,
i look up from my menu for a second and another server lady is hovering over me. dead panned. looking washed out.
“anything u want?” in chinese.
“umm, the ginger honey tea please”
“that’s it!? you’re not ordering food?”
“well i didn’t know you were taking my order now!”
“what do you want” annoyed.
“i’ll have the lemongrass chicken vermicelli/lunch special 1″
she grabs my menu
“wait, and the mango cranberry juice”
“and you?” signaling to my mom
“we already put in her order, but she wants a mango juice too”
“what?”
“we already put in her order for the 1/2 cornish hen, and it also comes with a juice”
“oh” and starts to walk away
“hold on! my dad hasn’t ordered yet”
“what do u want”
“i’ll have the yellow curry chicken please”
“so two cranberry /mango juices, one lunch special 1, and a yellow curry chicken” and begins to walk away again. (man she couldn’t wait to run away)
“and a ginger honey tea!” i scream after her. “geez”

“how do ppl do business like this?! i don’t get it.”
our drinks come after another five mins –
one tea, one mango/cran juice.
the guy who brings it to our table throws it down and walks away –
“excuse me”, he walks away, “excuse me!” his back is facing me now, EXCUSE ME!” (my voice gets louder and more annoyed each time)
he finally turns around after my third and final plea and looks at me.
“we ordered two juices please”
“ok”
i knew i was yelling after him because if i didn’t i would never see that other glass of juice.

our food came, all at different times, and we ate it. we carry a pretty awesome conversation, and we manage to have a good time. the food turned out pretty good for a bargain price — $6.99 for my lunch meal!
and eventually we finish and naturally want to leave.
the girl is chatting again next to us at this point,
and we look at her and signal for the check.
she looks up at us and once again agrees but mouths “one moment” to us, and keeps talking.
why is it that you can never get out of restaurants like these faster? either that or they throw you the bill when you’re still eating. why do i want to stay in a crappy service place?

I sigh and remember my revolutionary idea at this point —
IF WE ALL BAN TOGETHER WE CAN CHANGE THIS —

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE try this the next time you go out to eat:
when the check comes,

write on the final bill:

TIP THE COOKS PLEASE.
or TIP IS FOR THE COOK
or PLEASE TIP THE COOK
or at the very least, PLEASE SPLIT THE TIPS WITH YOUR COOKS

either one.
and seriously, leave the tip for the cook.

how is it fair that COOKS bust their asses 3 times as hard as servers do, and yet servers good or bad ones can walk out at the end of their day with shorter shifts, with more breaks, and with MORE MONEY IN THEIR POCKETS?!?!

and how many times have i left a one cent tip for a very notoriously rude rude waitresses. (–Ten Rens, yonge & empress, y’all know who i’m talking about, and there’s no way around it, in high school we as underaged kids had no where else to go and lots of allowance and excess money to spend! and recently, my baby sister went there, spotted a major hair in her food, pointed it out to the waitress and she said “sO?”. went to get the other waitress to which also replied to my sister with a “and?”…
how bout them apples. you have choices as consumers ppl.)

and i’m sorry your JOB is to bring the HOT FOOD to the TABLE. at the VERY LEAST. you don’t deserve good tip if you do nothing on top of that. and if you’re rude, that’s where your ten percent starts to diminish, REALLY FAST.
legally i only have to pay the tax and the cost of my bill.
legally, i have the right to walk out of the restaurant before i order any food or drink.
and if the server asks (which has happened to me many times at the end of the meal, some have even chased me out of the restaurant) –
umm, “you forgot the tip!”, or “was there anything wrong with the service?”
you can say -
oh no i didn’t forget, i’m sorry,
the tip if for the cooks in the back who cooked my food.
and yes, there was something wrong with the service. it was shit. and you were rude, and the fact that you have to come running out to ask me if there was something wrong really means you don’t give a shit about your job and you have no idea how it works. in which case, how much you’re making directly reflects how hard you’re working.

it’s simple, your job is to make the customer happy.
food makes the customer happy, esp hungry clients/guest who walk into a restaurant.
the faster your service, the better,
the more attentive your service, the better,
the more observant you are, the better,
and it’s a meal, it’s when people feed themselves, it’s when people relax, it’s when people celebrate, it’s when people are eating alone and it might get you more money if you to talk to them like humans!

i am all for tipping BIG when i think a person deserves it, in fact there have been many servers i’ve made really happy with my 20% b/c they were absolutely exceptional.
i understand how this industry works b/c i work in this industry.
and when i have servers giving me attitude when i’m on the line, or hostesses complaining to me about how hard it is to deal with customers and be on their feet all day long –
i just look at them, usually sweaty, hot, and exhausted and say — hmm, try working on the line for one shift ten to fourteen hours straight. it’s 100 degrees back here. so i’ll trade places with you. i have hostessed and waitressed before, so if you can stand my job for even one shift, and still think what you do is harder, then you can keep your tip, in fact, i’ll give you my tip that i made that day in your shift. deal?

hahaha, i may be sassy about this, but i’m fed up because it absolutely sucks that waiters/tresses will walk out of the restaurant at the end of the night with more cash in their pockets than cooks do.

and aren’t you essentially walking into a restaurant because you don’t want to cook that day/night? or you want to be fed, taken care of, and that you’re essentially paying for the FOOD?!

so please -
try this next time
let’s start a revolution:

write it on your bills, with a giant smiley face:
“TIP THE COOKS PLEASE!”

and maybe that’ll make waiter/tresses work harder, if their tip is being split or taken away from them, that it’s not a given, and maybe (one could only hope) that TIP will become something of an incentive and a reward for hard work again, and not taken for granted.

hats off to the chef, so
how bout some more cha-ching? :)